It's a bit late to be typing some BS but I am waiting for an episode of Lipstick Jungle to download so I can lull myself to sleep to the sound of an aging Andrew McCarthy. Guys with no jawline don't look great in their middle ages.

So much happens in my day that I darest not write about. Hopes, dreams, crushes, cheers, and jeers. Sigh. I want to start another blog, a secret one where I won't be identified and arrested for posting transcripts of conversations with my doctor involving me begging for vicodin and the doctor giving in only after delivering a speech (in a thick Armenian accent) about Heath Ledger and Ana Nicole Smith, ending with a request for the name of my hairdresser.


My plane ride home took over five hours due to a strong headwind. I think that could be a pilots term for "the unbearable weight of unreasonable children screaming." I am jetlagged to the #%$nth degree. It was a couple of fun filled days in my favorite American city visiting my favorite American people, driving through inches of my favorite American precipitation. The trip included a stroll through the MGM with my sis, movie ("Vantage Point") with the lil bro, an easter dinner, a couple gatherings at E's house and a trip to Bob Evans with my mom. Needless to say, the visit was not without snacks or scandal. I voted for the hip-hop mayor into his first term and now look what he's gotten himself into. I can't wait to see how this pans out.
The movie D and I selected to see was "Vantage Point." Movie selection with a family member is an entirely different thing than normal movie selection. Everyone knows this. This is why I have seen "The Family Stone" and "PS I Love You" in the theater. I blame those on my sister. My brother is a little more easy going. "Vantage Point" is everything you would think it would be and if you aren't thinking about it much well then there you go. It's a movie about a presidential assassination seen from several different viewpoints. We found it more enjoyable if we turned to each other in between viewpoints and whispered vantage point. Try it - it's sure to be a hit.
Speaking of hits. I finally read "The Road." A book never made me feel so dusty and sweet. I liked it a lot, just like y'all said I would. I can't help but think that it had some kind of right-wing message though. I'd have to form and report to a book club to flesh out this idea. Who do you think owns apocalyptic imagery and literature? The right or the left or just the baby boomers? I heard that it is going to be made into a movie starring Viggo Mortenson as The Man. Of course.


Springtime in Mich

Springtime in Mich
Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

March 21st marks the first day of spring. To celebrate I hopped on the red eye to Detroit and was greeted by a blanket of beautiful snow and an army of frozen planes. Its so good to be back in the midwest amongst the indoor animal hair and damp cold.


Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

During a recent self-guided tour of the Texas state capital (in Austin for those of you who failed geography or fail to recognize Texas as part of the United States of America) my camera leapt out of my hands and fell to the ground. I knew something was different when I salvaged my little lumix off the laminate tile. The strong spirit of conservatism had excised the black spot demon. It hasn't appeared in a photo since!


Desert wildlife: talons, paws, and claws.


As I look into the future I see a sky full of possibility and a land full of hope and poppies. It's the desert wildflower season and our hunt started last weekend in Joshua Tree National Park. It was going to start in Antelope Valley but I got freaked out about a snow warning in Palmdale. The boys brought a football to prove that they were there for sport and not delicate seasonal flowers. There weren't many places in JT to toss around a football unless you wanted to spike up your shoes with cactus prickles so we had to save the pigskin for an elementary school palyground near the In and Out Burger in Indio. Besides my jammed finger and B taking a hit to the face, it all worked out.

I take back all the complaining I did about the rain this winter - the desert was as green as I have ever seen it. There was an area rug the size of, the whole desert, which would make it a carpet, of fine green non-mossy-moss and little precious yellow and purple flowers were everywhere. The gentle landscape was offset by the sight of a giant hawk/falcon gutting out a bunny rabbitt. That is the kind of totally tuff stuff that inspires spontanious songwriting. I expect to have our hit single "Hawk with a Rabbit" up in a few days.

These cacti make me weepy.

Originally uploaded by kayekilla.


We were greeted at the Alamo by six bizzllion tourists and scads of era-wearing reenactors. It just so happens that this weekend is a special "Remember the Alamo" weekend. People love an excuse to fire an old time canon for real.

Am I the only one that thought the Alamo was in the middle of the desert? It isn't. It is actually in the middle of San Antonio. I'm not an idiot. I think the website for the Alamo is deceiving. Report back to me if you disagree. SA is a great city but we got suckered into the river walk which probably would be fine on an average day but during Remember the Alamo weekend it was like walking around Universal Studios only there was a serious danger potential since the river walk is completely rebel-texas-style: no railing or ropes. I thought I was going to get knocked in the river by a stroller. Dirty water. Dirty water.

We leave tomorrow. I am so tired and I think I have a head cold. There are many questions I still have about Texas and I am afraid they will go unanswered. Like where does the term "Lone Star" really come from? Wikipedia tells me that it comes from the state flag but that isn't a satisfying answer now is it? I want to hear a story about a cowboy being lost and pregnant and not having a place to stay and being guided by a single star to a stable or something.

And the other pressing question I have is: are people allowed to bail out on the highway if the traffic gets too bad or is Texas just full of automobile outlaws? We saw tons of people crossing over grass and dirt to reach an exit ramp when the going got tuff. I'd love to adopt this technique in cali.

In case you need up to date cellphonephoto documentation - you can visit my tumblr site.
It's dry and windier than a skydiving simulator here in Austin. Please send hand lotion.

There is a lot of hustle and bustle downtown. I have never lived in a city where the downtown area was bumpin at night. It's like East Lansing under a Texas flag canopy here. Better dressed fellas though. I like tall skinny bored/disinterested looking men and I prefer to live in places where going downtown at night is more of a dare and best done on bikes or acid or the power of love.

Our hotel is presh. We got here early and went to a taco place two blocks from the motel. The first person I saw when I walked in was Luke Wilson. The second person I saw was an unknown bearded man. The film and interactive parts of South by Southwest are underway. So we celebrated by napping for two hours. I talked L into checking out a screening of The Upsetter at The Alamo Ritz Theater. Interesting venue. L loved it because each row of theater seats has a skinny bar table and you can order food and drinks from the comfort of your theater chairs. Our waitress was slightly unreasonable though. She didn't like my witty comparisons of 7-up and Sprite and she told us that we had to move a seat closer to the couple next to us because it was going to be a packed house. It didn't get that packed and I ended up sitting next to someone that ate garlic pizza and giggled every time they showed pot in the film and some bald euro dude set up shop right next to L: shoes off, backpack in our old seat. We got salads.

Yeah salads. Just a ridiculous choice for watching a movie. I had to put the thing in my lap and lean to one side so the Exit sign could illuminate the feta and olives. I gave up after awhile and set thing on the bar table in front of me and had to smell the rings of red onions for the rest of the movie. But it was a surprisingly enhancing experience. Smellovision.

Tomorrow we go to the Alamo. I'm going to bring chili cheese fritos.


There are a few signs that you come across in your life that let you know you are on the right path. One of them is getting back to your hotel room to find that 'You Got Served' is on the USA channel.


A few weeks before the national sales meeting the HR or the marketing department or the activities committee sent out an email saying that it was mandatory that we send in a picture of us with our families. And if we didn't have a family yet, it said, that we could send in a picture of us with our pet. So I was at a total loss. I wish I would have just photoshopped myself into a Kohls ad and sent it in but those kinds of creative things don't occur to me whenever the corporate forcefield is involved. So I just sent in a pic of me in Dodger Stadium and another of me holding a hundred and fifty bucks in poker chips in a casino bathroom. That's probably less money than Leslie from corporate accounts spends on her cocker spaniel. I wonder which one they will chose. Thanks for the snap Miss J.

Today so far has been very exciting because they are really pulling out all the stops. Gratuitous use of injured children, frequent mentioning of Martin Luther King Jr (an often used public icon in the corporate world, probably because he was such a good capitalist?) and lots of talk about overcoming obstacles and challenges. I'm very cranky. I just opened the twenty dollar half-bottle of wine in the mini bar. I've been texting my friends that it all sucks and everyone (except B) is like "at least it's the last...blah blah blah."

Look, no one has ever, in history of all complaining, whining, bitching, venting, and sharing, no one has ever been comforted or renewed or satisfied by someone saying "AT LEAST....something something something bright side something." Unless of course they say something like, "at least we got to orbit the earth once," or "at least they will never find the body."

As a friend you have a responsibility to commiserate. So if you get a text from me complaining about how awful my free spa facial was, I expect you to just respond with something like, "I can't imagine how you are surviving, that sounds terrible!!"


National Sales Meeting

I'm heating dirty hotel fruit in Austin. I'm eating the dirty fruit from from the hotel in Austin.

They come into our rooms while we are in meetings to leave 'gifts' like sweatshirts with the company logo and a can of red bull. This makes some people happy. It makes me suspicious.

This morning we had to report in the hotel lobby at 615 am wearing the company logo sweatshirt. The escorted us outside in the dawn freeze and we waited until five guys dressed like (deer-skin-mocassin-style) indians came out to perform a sundance. Then a larger man dressed like an important indian came out. Judging by his headdress I would say he was 'The Chief.' He talked about the four elements and the talking stick and how togetherness will bring our company into a new dimension.

Hmmmm. If you are uncomfortable or confused reading this you are no further along than I am.

Words overused at corporate meetings: change, growth, opportunity, and most of all 'challenge'