Steevadors, Longshoreman, Soccer Teams

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

So Emma is here. Well, she is actually in Torrance for work. She came in last night and I told her I would wait out the rush hour traffic and then come by and take her to the most magical place in the south bay area: The Port of Long Beach. Its a super beefy machinery boaty cargo-y place that looks like a parking lot for Millenium Falcons at night. I was so happy that she dug it. You never know if people like truly proper shit. But Ems liked it so much that she made up a chant, "its like trains on boats, trains on boats!"

I took her back to her homebase hotel early because I was sympathetic to the east-to-west-coast jetlag. I thought it would be a great idea to get a glass of wine at the hotel bar, like two classy adult ladies. Seeing giant machinery move cargo from around the world can be overwhelming and exhausting, so you need something to help you wind down. We only wanted some peace and quiet and a good view of a group of comely gentleman from a college soccer team that were prancing around the lobby waiting for their equally attractive coach to check them in. And just when they started to wrestle with each other we were interrupted by some other people from her work that were already four drinks deep from the bar. Oh well. That is what she is here for anyway. Until next week anyhow - then its all play and no work in LA for Ems.

In the meantime, know that I have been serving jury duty. The best part is how much you learn about yourself and I tell you it's been true for me - I think I have found something that I can look forward to when I am retired. I wondered what I would fill my days up with after I turn 70. I mean I know my weekends will be for bridge and casseroles but what are you supposed to do during the week? Jury duty is flipping perfect because its time consuming yet socially important. You make anonymous descions that will have no personal or career consequences. I hope when you are old you can volunteer for it more than twice a year.

Emmas Here

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

The Yawning Palmist

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

I’m writing this from the public library where the only study booth left is one where someone must have slapped down some pieces of greasy pizza, pressed it into the table and sprinkled those redhot pepper things all over the place. I wish I wasn’t wearing flip flops.

N and I took a day trip to Pismo Beach. She promised that it would be fancy and gritty. The central coast of Cali is very beautiful but the pristine terracottaroofed Walgreens of Santa Barbara make you feel like you should be dropping off dry cleaning or ordering starbucks. You need coastal isolation and grit, true grit.

While we were waiting for a table at some place where N would eventually order, dismantle, and ingest a giant crab, I decided to venture over to the Palmist across the street. This psychic establishment had the best sign I have ever seen so I expected the interior to be ultramagical.

The door was locked but a tired housewifey looking lady with bleached out orange hair and a long chino skirt let us in. Before we even said anything she asked how old we were. I don’t think it was to establish that we were old enough to retain psychic services. She was already trying to gather info for her reading.

The place had blue carpet and a giant white ceramic LAMB in the middle of the room. There were two corner rooms with blue curtains and crystal balls for readings. No incense, no bojangles or beads. I was disappointed but I had already gotten in the door. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

N was against spending money on such things but I asked for a palm reading. The woman led me into one of the tiny rooms, sat down and crossed her arms in front of her chest, yawned and told me to hold out my hands. I did and expected her to grab it, hold it, summon a spirit animal or something. But she just stared at my hands and said, “I can tell you aren’t married. But you have been hurt in the past.” At this point I thought that she might actually be the cleaning lady covering for the real psychic, the one that paid for the awesome palm reading sign since I think most people participating in western civilization could have told me the same thing since I wasn’t wearing any rings.

She started to tell me about how I was going to go into management and I started to feel awful. Then she said I would get married after meeting my soul mate, probably named STEVE, within fifteen months. After which she yawned again. Then she said I would have two daughters. All of this sounds like my worst flipping nightmare. Then she said that I have been overworked and very stressed out from working so hard. And that’s when I swear I heard N laugh outloud from the psychic waiting room.

I had been had. I mean its hard to believe that a psychic would rip you off, I know. But if you go to Pismo, just try to stick with the seafood and mineral hot springs. Thanks.

And she didn't even know there was one in Phoenix

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

I like to travel to cities where the hometown basketball team is doing hot hot hot. I like to travel to cities where the NASCAR something or rather is taking place and burning up the pavement and congesting the one road outta town. I like cities with Waffle Houses and Anthropologies and no nearby competing metropolis’s. I like any city where one of my high school homies has escaped the confines of our home town to stake their claim in the sunshine. I like a city that requires a four hour drive on a two lane highway in the baron, unforgiving desert. Drives like that make you think about stuff like the human condition, forgiveness, beef jerky, an unexpected tire blow-out, and cell phone reception. It was great to see you Kriso.

Strike Two

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

I tried to get inside another one of Californias beautiful and slightly creepy Spanish missions yesterday. My first attempt in San Gabriel didn't work out becase they had just closed up shop (at 4pm!)

And yesterday, in Santa Barbara, seconds after we found parking (which wasn't easy - its spring break around here) we were informed that the mission was closed due to a power outage.

I thought this was a bit of bullshit because I know that those building have been around since before electrical times. I think they could have considered the rest of us tourists and lit up some old fashioned torches.

N said she didn't understand the appeal of the Missions and I tried to come up with a fantastical story about Hitchcock, Virtigo, Monks, and the Spanish Inquisition. I wouldn't really know since I have never actually been inside.

Gorgeous day yesterday : oceans, palm trees, channel islands, mountains and valleys. At dinner last night I told T that our ride out to Santa Barbara was awesome and she said (innocently) "What was so great about it?" Spoken like someone raised in Southern California.

Mission Santa Barbara

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

Mission Santa Barbara

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

BFF F

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

I forgot to get a pic of drew's middle piece but last night we presented him with the exclusive three way Best Friends Forever charm as thanks for all of his work on our production.

I am sure the very exclusive piece of jewelry made working four ten hour days for no money totally worth it.

BFF

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

Wads of Gifts

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

I should be charging for this information but we recently discovered the perfect gift for the person that has everything.

These ceramic wads of cash are belt buckles. They will be a welcome addition to any wardrobe, male or female or anything in between.

Everyone is getting these for Easter!

Street Ballin

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

Home for a minute

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

I was just at LAX and I didn't even check out the giant plane. I was too tired to do anything else at the airport other than pay a million dollars for parking and get home.

I went home, home this weekend and the visit was a real HIT as you can see by this photo.

Training in the winds of San Pedro

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

Sister Tour

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

I recently took my little sister to Vegas. She had never been there and didn't know what to expect. Im sure she was delighted to find out that "MY Vegas" involves the following activities:

Nabbing free drinks as a spectator of high-stakes craps at the Venetian or The Wynn or The Bellagio

Giving unsolicted recommendations for impromptu weddings (highlarious, right?)

Seeing how many people accept our offer to take a couple/group photo. (Project GoodSnapshotmaritian)

People In Photo Frames

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

Doesn't this look like a happy family you would see in a photo frame at the store? Well it isn't.

Today was very exciting for several reasons, although I have determined that 70% of the goodness is unpublishable after listening to an NPR discussion on youth, internet, and privacy. I don’t feel particularly young per se but I do feel I should wise up and publish the more juicy content on a podcast or anonymous message board.

I cannot however resist sharing with the entire world that I got cable television today. And it was a bigger hassle than I anticipated. The drama started even before I hit power on my remote yo. My landlord, who just so happens to live next door to me, verbally attacked the cable guy and threatened him with physical or legal action (not sure which – both of them have mucked up English) when she saw him treading around the back yard looking at a nearby phone pole.

I was positively amazed at how intensely she felt the need to assert her authority over the cable technician. Even after I explained to her that I had requested cable television and everything that the installation entailed, she followed us around and stepped into my place and furiously pointed at a limp 8 ft coil of used cable that has been poking out of my living room baseboard since I moved in, “You aren’t going to be using THAT are you? It isn’t your property.” I have no idea whatsoever the purpose of having a cut and frayed cable wire in my house will serve but there is no way I’m back-talking to a landlord of a rent-controlled apartment in this up and coming area (and I mean up-and-coming – I just saw that cute tall guy from “The Office” at my local bar) even if it means suffering through a few mildly uncomfortable moments. I mean it was only as uncomfortable as watching a date belittle a waitress or taxi driver. No biggie. Its not like IM the cable guy that had to crawl under the house because the landlord didn’t want him to staple a cable anywhere near the roof.

***

A couple days ago I was packing up a pair of earrings I picked out for one of my fave friends. At the last minute I threw in a ‘used’ photocopy of a story from an anthology that I got on the first day of a fiction workshop I am taking. I spoke with her today and she told me how much she dug getting a photocopied short story in the mail. It makes you feel like you should be making notes or highlighting stuff or just reading a whole story in one sitting (that’s Poe’s definition of a short story BTW). I have been inspired to start a photocopied short story chainmail type thing. I suppose I need to make more friends that read to get started. Holler at me if you want to be a part of this.

Cybershot

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

Within moments of getting off the plane back from my trip my favorite digital camera broke. I appreciated it even more that it waited until we god home to crap out on me. Although, I really wanted to get some MPEG footage of the American Airlines baggage claim walkway.

It had been on the fritz for some time so I knew its days were numbered but I was trying to ignore it. I thought that maybe there was just sand in the contraption and used some eyeglass screwdriver to open it up. That was when I really broke it. It was extra broken. And this is what it looked like.

Never Enough

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

I got some more photos from B from the trip. It seems like there are more photos than there were minutes in the short trip. Whatevs. I have always said let god sort ‘em out.

This photo in particular captures the essence of thebiggestbutte.com - it really follows the travel theme of "Never Enough" - part of anyone's vacation documentation should involve sassy posing near a contradictory road or restaurant sign. It's the kidnapping equivalent to holding up a newspaper to prove the date. You have to show that you took it to the limit and the only thing you took seriously was staying free.

Local Driving on Vimeo

The island version of what we midwestern girls know as the "peel-out."
I could hear these guys screeching about seventeeen curves away.