AAA's Visit

AAA's Visit
Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

check

I just wanted to share that today I went on a field trip with the 6th grade to the "Human Bodies" exhibit at the science center downtown and it has the oddest senisibility; bad-art; like what biology class would look like if the old-couple that runs the wood-burned roadsign booth at the local craft fair had a say in it. Everything looked like a mess of bones in near flight with skirt-steak wings.

Dawgs on a Roof

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

I spent most of the day outside at the LA Times Book Fair. I helped out at the WG booth for a bit and took some time to wander around. I watched the long line at the Ray Bradbury book signing for a bit and studied the area map.

What the hell are you really supposed to do at these things anyway? I stopped by the Poets&Writers booth to let them know I am a subscriber. One of the P&W ladies left like that was the cue to take a lunch break. And I thought that if I stood by the McSweeney's booth long enough someone would recognize me as the person that sent in a story that they rejected and they would try to befriend me.

There were three people in that booth. On the left was a guy with dark curly hair, girly thighs crammed into faded levi's, and thick black glasses. He spoke with a voice that sounded like a mix of Ira Glass and Fran Drescher. I imagined him writing stories about being a picked-on bookworm in private school. In the middle sat an expertly freckled fresh-faced blond girl in a modern-cut ethnic print sundress. She didn't speak unless spoken to. I heard her say "Those are fifteen dollars." On the right was a cartoonist from San Fransisco. Tall, skinny, dark skinned, with a patch of hair on his chin. Standing in front of his books. What a set of jerks! I stood around for a while before screaming, "you don't know me!" and rushing off to find the shuttlebus.

No escape from street fairs though. As soon as I got home I was reminded that today is the Atwater street art fair. I spent the remainder of the sunlight deepening my sunstroke by walking around in the smoke of meats on a grill.

Sorry KK but I never used your wok or your garlic paste that you gave me before you moved to New York. You must already know this because revenge has been served. I had the wok on my floor, near the door so I wouldn’t forget to take it, and several other items, to Goodwill. Everybody knows that anything you want to remember you put near your doorway. At 11something pm, fifteen minutes into the dramatic suicidal tale in “Taste of Cherry” I decided to get up and grab a little something from the kitchen (beer) on the way back I slammed my foot into the wok on the floor. It hurt in that mutherFerIjuststubbedMyToe kind of way. I danced around for a second or two before I sat back on the couch holding my be beer in one hand and my wok-ed foot in the other. It wasn’t until I let go to concentrate on my beverage that I saw the blood. Covered, dripping, totally bogusly gross. I glanced at the wok to couch pathway and saw the trail of blood. The wok had nearly severed my little toe off. It wouldn’t stop bleeding. I held a towel around my foot for fifteen minutes and took a peek and ended up slipping around in a pool of my footblood on the bathroom tile. It’s very hard to nearly bleed to death on your own because you want to live, you want to fight for your life but you keep thinking, “if I live I am going to have to get the blood stains out of my couch and carpet.“ I don’t know exactly when the bleeding stopped because after about an hour and a half (I finished my beer and the movie) I got tired of applying pressure and just passed out leaving my fate to the gods of coagulation. I woke up to a bloody towel and a painful, crusty baby toe. I’m finding out that you really need your little toe for balance but you don’t need a wok to cook vegetables. I still haven’t gone to goodwill but I put the soon-to-be-donated items in the trunk of my car.

I have huge gaps in my literary knowledge. For example, I only know a few things about Graham Greene, I've read a short story or two and I know that his novels make for some tight movies. But I've finally gotten around to reading one. I'm in the middle of "The Heart of the Matter" and I know it's good because I'm rewriting one of my seventeen novels as I read it. What appeals to me most about this book and his work in general is that I consider his characters and settings to be straight out of my past life destiny. It's all horny Anglos dressed in linen written as outsiders/foreigners in the mid fifties southeast Asia, western Africa, Cuba - those kinds of places. The same kinds of things that made up the good journalism dramas of the eighties "Year of Living Dangerously" "Salvador" and the recent "Blood Diamond" (so retro). I really think Greene would appeal to those of us raised on Indiana Jones. I'm rambling but I promise you it all goes together. I'm just so tired from working with spastic minipeople all day.

To be a master giftgiver is to achieve a status higher than the pope or the president or the Boston Red Sox.

PJ gave me the greatest gift ever this evening. I was so stoked I could barely concentrate on "Street Kings" but I managed. I do think the film would have been much improved had they cast Rutger instead of Keanu as the lead cop with a dead wife. It also might have been better had they not let the craft services people write the script. Between "Street Kings" and "21" I have seen possibly the worst screenwriting in the history of screenwriting. I mean I've seen episodes of "Guiding Light" that had more continuity and believability. Its maddening knowing how many writers there are that could have done a better job in a first draft than what ended up on screen. I'm not going to get mad though, I'm going to get busy. Busy writing my own street script. "Blind Fury" meets "Drumline" with a "Coach Carter" twist - get ready for it.

I've got a design challenge for my homies. My new ride has this rad cassette tape storage compartment. I'm trying to come up with some ideas on what to do with it. Suggestions?


Cassette Storage Contest from kayekilla on Vimeo.

Have you ever had an MRI? I just had one. It sounds like a Wolf Eyes concert. I wish I would have recorded it but I didn't so you'll have to just ask me to reenact it for you.

The dude blew out my vein when he put the contrast in so I'm totally bumming - a little cotton ball with ridiculously sticky medical tape is not taking the pain away. I'm going to have to start drinking before lunch yet again.

I came home to find that I had left my gas burner on about medium flame. Nearby was my plastic Dodgers thermalunchpack. It was far enough away to not cause a house fire but I'd say just barely. This reminds me of the time I left for the aiport in a rush and forgot that I had just cooked a snack in the oven. 375 for five days - ho-o-o-t in there but no house fire. Why isn't this shit on those times when I neurotically go back to double check?

I am afraid they are going to find a hole in my brain where the gas stove mechanism is. At least then I will have answers.

The best internet time waster of 2008 has arrived: 54 Years of Sports history.
Thank goodness, I was getting a little too productive.
A few of my favorites (as in covers or photos - I haven't gotten around to the articles too much yet) can be found:
Here,
Here
&
Here
And just cuz I like toothless hockey players from time to time: Here
And because E and I decided to pick one thing to really get into and that thing being the 84 Olympics: Here - It's really no wonder I moved to Los Angeles.

So it's been a swell at-home weekend, minus the hour and fifteen minutes I spent on the phone with HP tech support only to find out I had a bunk SD card - good thing I spent 40 minutes of that time ranting about how much I hate Vista and how I was probably just going to return my new laptop. Anyway, enough of that, I liked hanging around town for a change. I had to stick around for a pals birthday extravaganza and I had a class today. The class went well and all the students obeyed all of my irrational requests and were generally rad, even if one seemed to know a little bit more about AfterEffects than I did. I can't know everything all the time, it just seems like it. The real take-away lesson of this first weekend in April was to not over-mix cake batter because you will get spongy cupcakes. It's not like I ruined J's birthday or anything but whoever gets my next batch of cupcakes is really going to be in for a treat. Maybe I will give them to neighbor that has a condo in Maui.

Rolled..

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

in fields of poppies. Just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.

Golden Child

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

It's very difficult to write a weather blog when you don't like the weather. I would not make a good journalist. That's like the number one reason I am not writing for The New York Times. I could if I wanted to of course, same deal with the WNBA, but I don't like their uniforms and I think they should lower the rims.

I taught my first full fitness class today and it was awesome. I mostly catered to a couple chubbier yet jovial participants because they gave the most feedback. Feedback meaning, "ouch" and "whooa, is the air conditioning working?!" I guess I need to get over the fact that people aren't in a group fitness class to chat it up or laugh at my jokes. I suppose they are trying to concentrate.

I quit my stupid corporate job today. I do hope someone will show up to pay my bills. A few helpful fellas did show up this afternoon (thanks J+F!) to help me paint my bedroom a youthful lavender. A colorful testimony of my avoidance of adulthood. I should have Swiss Almonded this place like a proper renter.

I don't really care about work or any of that time-sucking bullshit truthfully and keeping up that facade has been exhausting! I only care about it because people seem to talk about it a lot and I have a tendency to want to please others (which is why I always look so good). I know what I am supposed to be doing and thank god I freed up some time so I can work on my petition to change Jeff Kent's batting song. I have a few other like-minded projects and I am looking for collaborators, residency not required, but an undying passion for the baseball zen peace movement, is.

FINALLY.

It's a bit late to be typing some BS but I am waiting for an episode of Lipstick Jungle to download so I can lull myself to sleep to the sound of an aging Andrew McCarthy. Guys with no jawline don't look great in their middle ages.

So much happens in my day that I darest not write about. Hopes, dreams, crushes, cheers, and jeers. Sigh. I want to start another blog, a secret one where I won't be identified and arrested for posting transcripts of conversations with my doctor involving me begging for vicodin and the doctor giving in only after delivering a speech (in a thick Armenian accent) about Heath Ledger and Ana Nicole Smith, ending with a request for the name of my hairdresser.

My plane ride home took over five hours due to a strong headwind. I think that could be a pilots term for "the unbearable weight of unreasonable children screaming." I am jetlagged to the #%$nth degree. It was a couple of fun filled days in my favorite American city visiting my favorite American people, driving through inches of my favorite American precipitation. The trip included a stroll through the MGM with my sis, movie ("Vantage Point") with the lil bro, an easter dinner, a couple gatherings at E's house and a trip to Bob Evans with my mom. Needless to say, the visit was not without snacks or scandal. I voted for the hip-hop mayor into his first term and now look what he's gotten himself into. I can't wait to see how this pans out.

The movie D and I selected to see was "Vantage Point." Movie selection with a family member is an entirely different thing than normal movie selection. Everyone knows this. This is why I have seen "The Family Stone" and "PS I Love You" in the theater. I blame those on my sister. My brother is a little more easy going. "Vantage Point" is everything you would think it would be and if you aren't thinking about it much well then there you go. It's a movie about a presidential assassination seen from several different viewpoints. We found it more enjoyable if we turned to each other in between viewpoints and whispered vantage point. Try it - it's sure to be a hit.

Speaking of hits. I finally read "The Road." A book never made me feel so dusty and sweet. I liked it a lot, just like y'all said I would. I can't help but think that it had some kind of right-wing message though. I'd have to form and report to a book club to flesh out this idea. Who do you think owns apocalyptic imagery and literature? The right or the left or just the baby boomers? I heard that it is going to be made into a movie starring Viggo Mortenson as The Man. Of course.

Springtime in Mich

Springtime in Mich
Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

March 21st marks the first day of spring. To celebrate I hopped on the red eye to Detroit and was greeted by a blanket of beautiful snow and an army of frozen planes. Its so good to be back in the midwest amongst the indoor animal hair and damp cold.

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

During a recent self-guided tour of the Texas state capital (in Austin for those of you who failed geography or fail to recognize Texas as part of the United States of America) my camera leapt out of my hands and fell to the ground. I knew something was different when I salvaged my little lumix off the laminate tile. The strong spirit of conservatism had excised the black spot demon. It hasn't appeared in a photo since!

Desert wildlife: talons, paws, and claws.

Poppies.

As I look into the future I see a sky full of possibility and a land full of hope and poppies. It's the desert wildflower season and our hunt started last weekend in Joshua Tree National Park. It was going to start in Antelope Valley but I got freaked out about a snow warning in Palmdale. The boys brought a football to prove that they were there for sport and not delicate seasonal flowers. There weren't many places in JT to toss around a football unless you wanted to spike up your shoes with cactus prickles so we had to save the pigskin for an elementary school palyground near the In and Out Burger in Indio. Besides my jammed finger and B taking a hit to the face, it all worked out.

I take back all the complaining I did about the rain this winter - the desert was as green as I have ever seen it. There was an area rug the size of, the whole desert, which would make it a carpet, of fine green non-mossy-moss and little precious yellow and purple flowers were everywhere. The gentle landscape was offset by the sight of a giant hawk/falcon gutting out a bunny rabbitt. That is the kind of totally tuff stuff that inspires spontanious songwriting. I expect to have our hit single "Hawk with a Rabbit" up in a few days.

These cacti make me weepy.

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

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We were greeted at the Alamo by six bizzllion tourists and scads of era-wearing reenactors. It just so happens that this weekend is a special "Remember the Alamo" weekend. People love an excuse to fire an old time canon for real.

Am I the only one that thought the Alamo was in the middle of the desert? It isn't. It is actually in the middle of San Antonio. I'm not an idiot. I think the website for the Alamo is deceiving. Report back to me if you disagree. SA is a great city but we got suckered into the river walk which probably would be fine on an average day but during Remember the Alamo weekend it was like walking around Universal Studios only there was a serious danger potential since the river walk is completely rebel-texas-style: no railing or ropes. I thought I was going to get knocked in the river by a stroller. Dirty water. Dirty water.

We leave tomorrow. I am so tired and I think I have a head cold. There are many questions I still have about Texas and I am afraid they will go unanswered. Like where does the term "Lone Star" really come from? Wikipedia tells me that it comes from the state flag but that isn't a satisfying answer now is it? I want to hear a story about a cowboy being lost and pregnant and not having a place to stay and being guided by a single star to a stable or something.

And the other pressing question I have is: are people allowed to bail out on the highway if the traffic gets too bad or is Texas just full of automobile outlaws? We saw tons of people crossing over grass and dirt to reach an exit ramp when the going got tuff. I'd love to adopt this technique in cali.

In case you need up to date cellphonephoto documentation - you can visit my tumblr site.

It's dry and windier than a skydiving simulator here in Austin. Please send hand lotion.

There is a lot of hustle and bustle downtown. I have never lived in a city where the downtown area was bumpin at night. It's like East Lansing under a Texas flag canopy here. Better dressed fellas though. I like tall skinny bored/disinterested looking men and I prefer to live in places where going downtown at night is more of a dare and best done on bikes or acid or the power of love.

Our hotel is presh. We got here early and went to a taco place two blocks from the motel. The first person I saw when I walked in was Luke Wilson. The second person I saw was an unknown bearded man. The film and interactive parts of South by Southwest are underway. So we celebrated by napping for two hours. I talked L into checking out a screening of The Upsetter at The Alamo Ritz Theater. Interesting venue. L loved it because each row of theater seats has a skinny bar table and you can order food and drinks from the comfort of your theater chairs. Our waitress was slightly unreasonable though. She didn't like my witty comparisons of 7-up and Sprite and she told us that we had to move a seat closer to the couple next to us because it was going to be a packed house. It didn't get that packed and I ended up sitting next to someone that ate garlic pizza and giggled every time they showed pot in the film and some bald euro dude set up shop right next to L: shoes off, backpack in our old seat. We got salads.

Yeah salads. Just a ridiculous choice for watching a movie. I had to put the thing in my lap and lean to one side so the Exit sign could illuminate the feta and olives. I gave up after awhile and set thing on the bar table in front of me and had to smell the rings of red onions for the rest of the movie. But it was a surprisingly enhancing experience. Smellovision.

Tomorrow we go to the Alamo. I'm going to bring chili cheese fritos.

There are a few signs that you come across in your life that let you know you are on the right path. One of them is getting back to your hotel room to find that 'You Got Served' is on the USA channel.

A few weeks before the national sales meeting the HR or the marketing department or the activities committee sent out an email saying that it was mandatory that we send in a picture of us with our families. And if we didn't have a family yet, it said, that we could send in a picture of us with our pet. So I was at a total loss. I wish I would have just photoshopped myself into a Kohls ad and sent it in but those kinds of creative things don't occur to me whenever the corporate forcefield is involved. So I just sent in a pic of me in Dodger Stadium and another of me holding a hundred and fifty bucks in poker chips in a casino bathroom. That's probably less money than Leslie from corporate accounts spends on her cocker spaniel. I wonder which one they will chose. Thanks for the snap Miss J.

Today so far has been very exciting because they are really pulling out all the stops. Gratuitous use of injured children, frequent mentioning of Martin Luther King Jr (an often used public icon in the corporate world, probably because he was such a good capitalist?) and lots of talk about overcoming obstacles and challenges. I'm very cranky. I just opened the twenty dollar half-bottle of wine in the mini bar. I've been texting my friends that it all sucks and everyone (except B) is like "at least it's the last...blah blah blah."

Look, no one has ever, in history of all complaining, whining, bitching, venting, and sharing, no one has ever been comforted or renewed or satisfied by someone saying "AT LEAST....something something something bright side something." Unless of course they say something like, "at least we got to orbit the earth once," or "at least they will never find the body."

As a friend you have a responsibility to commiserate. So if you get a text from me complaining about how awful my free spa facial was, I expect you to just respond with something like, "I can't imagine how you are surviving, that sounds terrible!!"

National Sales Meeting

I'm heating dirty hotel fruit in Austin. I'm eating the dirty fruit from from the hotel in Austin.

They come into our rooms while we are in meetings to leave 'gifts' like sweatshirts with the company logo and a can of red bull. This makes some people happy. It makes me suspicious.

This morning we had to report in the hotel lobby at 615 am wearing the company logo sweatshirt. The escorted us outside in the dawn freeze and we waited until five guys dressed like (deer-skin-mocassin-style) indians came out to perform a sundance. Then a larger man dressed like an important indian came out. Judging by his headdress I would say he was 'The Chief.' He talked about the four elements and the talking stick and how togetherness will bring our company into a new dimension.

Hmmmm. If you are uncomfortable or confused reading this you are no further along than I am.

Words overused at corporate meetings: change, growth, opportunity, and most of all 'challenge'

If everything were feathered.

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

It's overcasty and raining in Phoenix. Go figure. Rain can even visit the desert from time to time. I think it's just mother nature's way of telling me that I do indeed have a packing problem. Radically inclusive is a writing technique and not recommended for application in areas of packing or travel. For ventures away from home one needs a sharp focus and an appreciation of the freedom that brings. Worry about only your next meal and let everything else fall away.

My sharp focus made me forget all about the lunar eclipse last night. B tried to remind me but I was sincerely focused on not checking my phone. I bet it was fun to watch the moon dissapear. Of course I can always recreate the same thing in Aftereffects or outside with a sheet of construction paper but there is something to be said for an authentic eclipse. Again, I wouldn't know for sure since I didn't see it.

I think I might be the first person to say this but, teens have no respect.

They also are oblivious to the standard rules of the Library. I am listening to some full-volume-idiotic cell phone conversation right now. It's bleeding through my new Philips noise cancelling earbuds. I'd kick some A** but I am afraid of groups of teens. Alone they are weak and insecure but together they form a powerful superconductor that translates insecure energies into supersonic interference.

Yesterday I spent nine hours at the Los Angeles Athletic Club for the group fitness certification.
As an aside, if anyone is interested in helping me bring my dream of air guitar aerobics to the world, I am looking for investors. I was stoked that it was at the LAAC because I have been dying to see the inside of it but never had the pocket change to pay for the parking garage or the gumption to finagle a tour. The place has some excellent photos of strong men in unitards holding dumbbells, the kind of dumbbells men used before interchangeable weights.

They throw a hundred wanna-be aerobics instructors in the gymnasium (the same one many famous athletes trained in. Many of them probably from my favorite historical moment, the 84 Olympics) This is the kind of gym that has a track above it so the gym members that were there for a Sunday workout were treated to watching 100 ladies and three men practice warm-up and cardio choreography.

For the final test you have to perform a three minute warm-up routine, a four minute cardio routine, and a one minute cool-down. Here is the kicker: everybody, all one hundred plus, is divided into three groups and sectioned off in the same gymnasium. And everyone has to do their routine at the same time. No one is leading. It’s just mayhem. So picture three sets of 35 people doing their own aerobics thing (not just dancing, that would be like a rave) to some really crappy techno music while the towel guy and some older dudes from the LAAC look on from the top track. After that part is over the examiners shout, “now show me a strength exercises for the gluteus maximus, now one for the rhomboid….” And everyone has to simulate movements like they are holding weights or resistance bands.

It was probably one of the most amazing things I have participated in in a long time (and that saying a lot since the day before I had just participated in the shoot for the second episode of TBABC). I wish I could have videotaped the exam part. Framed just so, the whole ordeal would have looked like a perverse internment camp activity. Now I am going to have to go to all the trouble of getting back into the class just for videotaping purposes. I need some more material for my upcoming short film titled “Towel Boy and Group Girl.”

Railroad Depot

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

I now have a special black orb on all of my digital photos. Even after scrubbing my camera lens with my scarf, some paper towel, and the bottom of my forever 21 t-shirt, the orb was still there. It's on all of my pictures now. It's very noticable when you see all the pics lined up side by side.

It's a dark spirit circle trapped in my camera. My friend N says to send it away to panasonic but what will I do in the meantime? What if the orb follows me around? I can't imagine going a day without my dig. I think it's a censor, I mean sensor problem. Maybe the orb will be my trademark.

At the gym that I go to the fitness classes are sectioned off by a clear wall so you can see all the people working out on the stairclimbers and treadmills behind you while you are in aerobics class. My spin instructor likes to make fun of people who are using the equipment wrong. I also think she plays illegal music. It's totally lawless an irresponsible. I have begun to model my life after her.

I feel pretty good writing about my silly camera problems before even mentioning the fact that a huge building that housed one of my friends and about who knows how many other people and a rad independent record store burnt down in Detroit today. I think it is something so crappy that I prefer to just bury it away. I feel totally helpless not being able to do anything for her. I can't imagine what it is like to have your home and all your stuff burned up.

Pear Blossom Winter

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

Ever drive from Victorville to Palmdale on the Pear Blossom Highway?

It's just Glendale

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

Saving Lives

So this week I did my part as a super citizen and future aerobics instructor and went and got myself CPR certified at the local Red Cross chapter. This event was frightening and enlightening.

First of all, did you know that many people successfully perform CPR from just what they see on TV? On shows like House, ER, and CSI? That's one of the first tidbits the instructor told us at the beginning of the four and a half hour course. If I hadn't have already paid my 42 bucks, I would have raced home and checked my VHS collection for some old Clooney ER episodes and just forgot about spending four and a half hours in a room full or randoms.

When I say randoms I mean myself, one larger bearded lady, two loudmouth personal trainers wearing blue track suits, one guy from Cal-OSHA and a roomful of Armenian, only half English speaking, women getting certified to work in childcare.

For class demonstrations the instructor used the one guy as the victim and the large lady as the rescuer (it was her fifth year renewing the certification). There is just something so uncomfortable about watching strangers touch each other in a non-emergency and non-errotic situation. Yeah, so I'd never be a nurse. I think I had really low blood sugar because I felt, for most of the class, like passing out. It's likely that I would have been saved but, I wasn't so sure at the time.

The Armenian ladies paired up so that one of them would translate to the other while the instructor read over the booklet and played the instructional (and well-acted I must say) videos. They did this throughout the whole class, most of them at full volume. I was worried because the instructor could not have possibly be monitoring if the correct safety information was being translated.

This became very clear when they broke the mannequins out at the end of the class. If I wouldn't have had my own certification looming over my head, I would have performed a citizens arrest on at least three of the women for what they were doing to the mannequins. They were wrapping the mouth guards all over the face and neck and laying on top of the plastic half bodies, all in an effort to perform CPR. The loudmouth know-it-all personal trainer kept going ahead of the instructor and she was screaming to her partner, "30 compressions! 2 Beaths!" It was complete mayhem. I was getting so frustrated for the instructor but it also angered me that she didn't know her own power. She could kick all these people out, they could go home and watch ER and hope that practicing on a teddy bear will give them the skills to save the lives of people they love. INstead she just plowed through the instructions and we all, in our own special way, completed the practical part of the training.

In the end, we all read the written test out loud and got 100% of the answers right. Strong as a group. We all came as different people, but we all left CPR certified.

Money can buy you anything! California is so accepting that you don't have to put your blow-up girlfriends in the trunk when you go to the grocer.

Today I dropped my phone in the toilet, saw a lexus with a mannequin in the passenger seat parked behind anthropology in Pasadena, and I got a new ipod.

It was really a day of firsts. I've never dropped my phone in the toilet before but I have made fun of people for doing it. Nor have I ever actually seen someone with a mannequin in their car, who hasn't thought about doing that for the HOV lane? But I would think that you would trunk it for public parking situations. The other first today is the ipod. I never ever had one before, well N gave me a hand me down that broke a few months ago. Mine is so cute. I can watch an entire episode of Gossip Girl on a two inch screen.

I fixed my blackberry by letting it sit in a bowl of rice. The chick at the verizon store told me to do this. I asked her if it mattered if I only had minute rice and she said it did and that I should just put it in a bowl of white rice. So I went home and empitied the rest of a half box of brown minute rice over my phone and put it in the oven for 40 minutes at 350 and now I am back in action. Feel free to email or text me between civil twilight and radical dawn.

Place: Kyles.
Purpose: Top secret pilot shoot

Rod doesn't like flash photography when the camera is rolling so there isn't much to do but write my thoughts. I've learned a lot today dressed like Ally Sheedy from the breakfast club. Now I know what it is like to be an outsider. A pre-goth outsider with dark feelings that nobody understands. Someone that shows up without invitation. Someone that is unliked, even considered weird. Until today I had no idea how it felt. Thanks guys for opening my mind.

You wouldn't believe how the Sheedy BFast Club uniform (baggy black sweater, giant skirt, dark tights, black chucks) still works amongst the WBN (why be normal) underground. K and I walked to starbucks between scenes for some fresh air and fresh joe. We'd only been there for three minutes when a young dude wearing suspenders and a hat (fedora? Reporters? Ducky?) Started in with me.
'Haha sometimes I think the best part about coffee is mixing the stuff in after'
'Me niether'
'I like it more than drinking coffee.'
'Go away'
'It's like ooooh what will happen if I put in four sugar packs?'
'It tastes like throw up'

Anyway. I think I've found my fashion message. My brand. My story.

My hot water heater broke and I had to shower at the gym today. I now think that I didn't really get all the shampoo out of my hair because my head feels odd, and I'm not just talking about my insane headache. Maybe it was just a problem with the shampoo supplied at my gym - it was for dry hair. I don't have dry hair. I have fine, bouncy, lively hair. It's not moist or anything but it sure isn't dry. Before you feel too bad for me showering at the gym, you should know that I belong to a fancy one. It's got a spa attached to it and those don't get attached to or affiliated with just any ol' place.

Last night A and I went to see "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" and uh, its really good. Besides how Schnabel pulled off the POV shots, which make up most of the movie, the repetition of the special alphabet makes for an oddly engaging soundtrack. The kind of thing where you begin to anticipate the next sound. Like listening to shoegazer rock. It's really awesome.

I just reminded myself that I meant to make it my New Years resolution to stop using the word awesome to describe things.

Ruined Blow Out

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

There are things I start to ask myself after an extended stay in Michigan. One of those questions is, "How many times can I watch 'The Departed' on cable tv?" And another is "How did I ever drive in snow before?" And another is "When did my mom stop complaining about the toilet seat being left up?" Because that rule is being broken like crazy around here. People just don't care. Manners aren't important anymore, common courtosey is up for debate. I am the only civilized person in mid-michigan now and I leave tomorrow. Good luck people.

New Years was fun. We had dinner at Sweet Georgia Brown's which had crappy service but a nice atmosphere and a frightened chubby keyboardist and then to LJs which had low-budget drinks and free party hats. Can't complain - even the heavy indoor smoking added a little character and a scent my coat and I will remember forever. It was a hard evening to plan at first because everyone kept saying 'I don't want to do anything too crazy' as if saying that would prevent a spontaneous rave from happening. It's good that we settled up on the crazy ahead of time because it got real snowy and if we had decided to get a helicopter we would have been grounded on Belle Isle for hours.

I hope we all get what we want in 2008 (especially the Dodgers) A new car for E, a new job for N, Mo money for all and less work and more fishing for me.

I resolve to return library books on time and to go to the racetrack and movies more, and the doctors office and bills liquor less. What about the rest of you?

In Michigan again. This time, as C says, there wasn't enough build up. Not enough daydreaming and wanderlusting and romanticising for the midwest. Instead my arrival was met with the midwest mediocrity that on a cheery day I would describe as modesty. Christmas was full of treats made from hersheys kisses, gifts from outlet malls, and general middle-of-the-road cheer.

Although they were at the top of my list, I didn't get any books so I had to grab something from my old stack of 'to-read classics' and the only one I had left to read is Miller's Tropic of Cancer. The bustle in the kitchen from my mom making another dream dinner and my dad and sister chatting about renting a movie is just such a great soundtrack to the read.

Change my ticket or finish the novel?

Through the doorway

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

This is the light coming through my 'front door' peephole. Lately I have been sitting on the floor propped up against the door just watching the little rainbow light circle - just waiting for it to go dark so I will know there is a visitor.

I don't really do that but I can tell you that today I went out to eat instead of cooking again. I went to a subway sandwich shop and I heard the guy in front of me ask if there was a tax difference if he dined in or took his food to go. I also heard a lady order an oatmeal raisin cookie and demand that the sandwich artist pick the one that had the least raisins. The woman worked for LDWP and was wearing shorts and one of those giant leg braces. I didn't lose my appetite though.

Too much to do. But I don't want to forget to write about this.

A droll and sagacious rundown of GRE words

I have forgotten how to live without chicanery. I’ve been in LA too long. I blame it on the coterie of contumacious lassies I have been running with. It doesn’t help that this sinecure of mine was once only a diurnal operation and has now turned into an onerous night menace.

No Laundrymat for Young Women.

Yesterday I went to the early evening show of "No Country For Old Men." I sat next to a few other solo theater goers. After it was over one of em, a chick that chewed her popcron with relative refinement, leans over and says "sheeewee - I'm going to have trouble sleeping tonight."

"Oh, I was prepared," I say. "I read the book." What the sam hell that means I don't know but thank goodness that most of what I say to strangers and store help never gets recorded unless I use it as an anecdote.

I spent the rest of the night running errands in a dreamy terrified state. The guy at Trader Joe's asked me how I was doing and I was like "what do you need to know that for?" and no I don't want any change. I would not recommend doing laundry in a public place after seeing that movie either unless you don't use quarters. Every time I put a new one in the dryer I kept thinking, "this coin got here the same way I did..." It's just stupid. This light grip on reality that I have.

Anyway. I Love Super Beautiful meets tonight. We'll see what kind of crap we can come up with using a book on story structure and four bottles of pumpkin ale.

Does anyone else have cold ankles?

Turkey neck.

It's around twenty degrees outside. My bones are soaked, chilled, and rattling and worse -my only internet hook-up is this blackberry. This demonic device that reminds me of the job waiting for me when I get back to LA. But i just want to forget that.

It's easy to forget what a house full of siblings sounds like. Or what a town in the thick of deer season looks like. Or what sleet turning to snow feels like. Or what free food from parents fridge tastes like. But it's all coming back to me.

The mechanics in town that gave my sister an oil change and free tire rotation wore carharts and seemed kind of preoccupied. My dad has thrown some safetyblaze orange accessories into his daily running outfit. Don't want em to mistake ya for a buck.

Last night Em and Tdog and I were in royal oak and ran across a half chopped deer hanging by its hind quarters. I got a couple shots of it before one of the hunters came out and asked if we wanted to take pictures of the carcass. Well when you put it that way - who can resist? The dude told us that this was his last deer because he was getting old and it just wasn't the same. I'm not the same guy I was. You change, you get older. He told us while he waived his filet knife around.

I'm just glad mama doesn't have to kill a turkey for tomorrow. We already picked up the pre-plucked bird at Sav-on foods tonight.there has been enough violence around here. Mostly emotional voilence for me though, i can't handle the bittersweet visits with my old pals and old stomping grounds. But like the weather, i really need to dry up.

It's a Sin

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

This is my taxi driver leaning over and whispering who knows what to a hardworking woman who was just trying to check his tire pressure.

I would like to be a mexican cab driver and make my own lanes and drive in a spirited manner. I won't be able to for another week or so though because my hand is injured. I cut it on an unknown object hiding in the back seat crevices. That's what I get for trying to find a seat belt. I hadn't even been looking for the thing for thirty seconds when the cab, a well broken in midsized station wagon, got pulled over by the cops.

My driver chuckled. Chuckled and then grabbed a wad of pesos from his shirt pocket and walked behind the car. I had no idea what the f was so funny since all I could think about was me, my problems, my unattended luggage, and my plane boarding. He spoke with the cop for all of twenty seconds and came back before I found the seatbelt but right after I cut my hand.

"A hundred pesos," he tells me, "ticket is about sixty dollars." I was getting used to this pesos/dollars interchangeability so I understood what he was saying - he paid the cop ten bucks to get out of paying sixty - I just didn't want him to tack it onto my bill - I wanted to be consulted for all bribery pay outs.

I probably would have been consulted if my spanish wasn't so bad. The driver was kind enough to hold a conversation with me made entirely up of names of cities and tourist attractions. What else do you really need to talk about anyway when the road is before you always?

Eve of all souls

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

These italians..

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

cut in line in front of us at the coffee shop.

E forgot her luggage in the hotel lobby. What a goofball. This place has turned into a madhouse because there is some kind of triathlon going on right across the street so the roads, which are normally wacked anyway, are now backed up for miles. So I had to roll out her luggage to a certain meeting point so she could avoid any more unnecessary returnos.

I will get to the good stuff of my trip later when I get home and can supplement with photos but for now I just want to express my disappointment that I couldn't post to my Tumblr blog from my cell phone. Apparently the customer service at Verizon is full of bald faced liars that actively ruin the lives of other people.

XOXO

Pumpkin

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

Activities for K's send-off continue. Coffee with a late dinner is dangerous. It's nothing like the typical coked out Mondays of most Los Angeles residents but it's enough to keep a convo going for a coupla hours past the valets shift.

The night ended with a cup of coffee that went cold. The food at the Dresden Room tastes like you'd think. The place smells like the inside of a wig and looks like the fanciest food joint ever presented in a Bogart flick. The waiter advised K against pork chops because the guy who usually cooks a good chop wasn't working tonight. The other guy was on. "What else should we have?" "What's good?" we asked. He tells us, "Everything else is good." Imagine a chef whose only failure is the pork chop and you can imagine the Dresden.

All this coffee and wind and earthquakin has syncopated my circadian rhythm. I think I have been suffering from an elevated perceived predation risk for sometime. Staying up late waiting for earthquakes and text messages has caused me to adopt the same sleeping schedule I had in 1996. Syncopated, for those of you that don't know, is stress on a normally unstressed beat. Dig that. And dig this.

Other things I have been digging are this, this, and this.

The Riv

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

My favorite old fashioned cooking ingredient is gelatin. Second to that would be dried fruits. I never appreciated my mother putting rasins in everything and now, well I still think it's gross but I get it.

We spent the evening at the local sports bar in the same spot we have secured for the past three games. I like it there even though everyone was a boston fan - but who isn't? Ever since that Jimmy Fallon movie...

I had big plans to stay up until after the earthquake tonight. I just can't handle being awoken -awoke -wakened - by a rumbling bed and bookcase and it happened again last night.

I was so pleased that I can get the USGS quake update live map on my blackberry because me internet has really been shit lately. It's running at dial-up speeds. I was on hold with Time Warner for 30 minutes before a young man with a mouth full of shredded wheat tried to help me. I was cranky and kept barking at him 'I can't even understand what you are saying?! Peanut butter mouthroof!'

Tomorrow is garbage day, the only day worse than street cleaning day for finding parking.

Apples where you pee.

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

Oak Glen turned out to be a true tourist heaven.

Cranky

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

Fall is right over here.

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Originally uploaded by kaky pants.

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Originally uploaded by kaky pants.

I stole some pics from K's flickr account. I have buckets from our visit to the stadium but I am saving them for when I have a chance to give a travel slideshow presentation at The Traveler Bookstore in WeHo. It is no accident that it rained the night before we went. It only rains on special occasions here. Last time it rained I got a new car.

This weekend so far has been tiring and invigorating. I have been working on several projects. Writing, photographing, helping (via mental projection) the Dodgers plan for their 50th anniversary here in the wild west, and recovering from the unidentifiable pain caused by my phantom breakup with my ambivalent lover. Hectic.

Fall is the time of year when all the easties around here pine away for the homeland. I priced out how much it would cost to immediately move my belongings back to Michigan in time to take the Detroit River fall color tour with my grandmother. A couple grand seems like a value. But there is no price I would pay to abandon my weather project. Talk about real value. Instead, I am off to find a cider mill. I heard there are some in the midst of all these palm trees around here.

she wouldn't shut up about baseball!

she wouldn't shut up about baseball!
Originally uploaded by kaky pants.

I wish I would have known this information was at my fingertips all season:

PLAYERS SONGS

Who lives in New York and wants to give this fine, talented lady a job?

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

Jamie's stove has an electric problem and if you touch it you will get a terrible shock. She was so tired from a long day of work that she put her six-pack of beer on top of the range and had to use Bethany's boots as a grounding mechanism to transfer the beer to a safe cold place. She is brave. It all worked out in the end and we spent the evening doing productive things like Exquisite Corpse Poetry.

I am terribly sick with a monstrous headcold and yesterday my laptop crashed. I dug up an old Dell Inspiron to do my writin' on. It weighs probably fifteen pounds and can only connect to the internet via a handcrank and RCA cable.

I'm supposed to be working on a locally based newsy travel article but I can't think of any other news than I am sick. Los Angeles makes people terribly selfish. Wait, there I have it - my article. That's not really news though.

New Mexico Cloud as Seen From Sunport

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

The Albuquerque airport has an excellent skylounge. You don't need to be part of the Admirals Club or anything like that to get in. I'm sitting on an adobe inspired chair looking at an American Airlines jet to the sounds of a little mophead carpet monster screaming about what gate they are leaving from. The kid is stoked beyond repair about getting on a plane. I share his enthusiasm but I don't have the energy to express it.

Operation puppy delivery went without so much as a bump. The fluffball did do a bit of whining during take off but it was mostly offset by screaming children. Children and airports are a combination much like baking soda and vinegar. Very cool for things like enthusiasm and science experiements and very bad for others like peace and quiet and douches. And that is the wisdom I will depart in this sweet missive. Looking forward to getting back to LA.

Testing

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

As you can see, the results of my testing clearly show I am highly allergic to dogs.

Cultural sounds abound. I am in the Glendale library trying to type to the mellow sounds of a whispering female Armenian accent. Sounds like a girly choo-choo train recording slowed to 13rpms. I stopped in the bathroom on the way in and a middle school age Asian girl in a navy short skirt private school uniform was practicing singing “I get weak” by SWV. That is Sisters With Voices for those of you that weren’t at the Arts, Beats, and Eats in Pontiac, 1992. And now that I have my headphones plugged in, Vivaldi’s four seasons is on the classical radio station and it’s still spring even though it’s fall.

If you can, drop your pants and go see "The Assassination of Jesse James by soandso..." It's worth full price admission to the Arclight. I like westerns that take place in the cold west, like "McCabe and Mrs. Miller." This one is more sparse. I especially enjoyed the use of white space, eye color, and diagetic sound.

I went to a birthday party last night at The Griffin or Griffith. It's new and it's in Atwater Village. I am astounded every time I go out on that side of AV, which is less than three quarters of a mile from my side on Glendale Blvd, how many rockabilly people are out and about. Where do you all live? I don't see you at Von's. The birthday party was extra special because it was a milestone birthday - the big three OH. Parting gifts were framed photos of the birthday boy in other milestone moments. The one I got was of him recycling.

I can't stop my visual media fest today long enough to write about much else. I have to catch part of the new Ken Burns deal. I am susceptible to hypnosis by slow pans of black and white photographs so it wouldn't be a wild deal if I ended up giving 14 hours this week to see the whole thing.

I'm writing this from the Ritz in Marina Del Ray. It's so nice to be on the west side watching 'Ratatoui'and drinking some Pino. The pino is in honor of the dear departed B who left LA a few weeks ago for the east side. I don't know how people can leave this place after getting a taste of paradise but she insists that not having to drive everywhere is a luxury. Sounds like just another line we say out loud to ourselves to convince ourselves of things that deep down we feel need convincing.

I think public transpo is a big robbery haven. A claustrophobic tube where you just sit waiting to get picked off by the crazed armed unlawful citizens of the world. I believe we should all be transported by hayrides. A sensible low-emissions tractor pulling a wooden trailer full of hay and people. It's out in the open, natural, and fresh. Isn't that what we really want?

White Bag After Labor Day

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Originally uploaded by kayekilla.

My mini bottle of lotion exploded on the plane. That is my punishment for not declaring it as a liquid at airport security.

I went to Wisconsin looking for love and I found all these mushrooms. They remind me of the kind of polyester stuff I used to freak to find at thrift stores. Coffee and flour canisters, macrame wall hangings, and crusty half used hippy candles.