Gifts Fall From Above

What can I write about the election that the french haven't already said? I guess for me, the high point is that last night, reason and intellect won over mental decrepitude. I walked into my classroom today (lil college kids) and I swear to the high holy ghost the young black guys looked like someone had handed them a golden ticket or maybe a real good looking picture of themselves or something. Landslide is a word that makes you smile when you say it, you can't help it. it's phonetics, "Landslide, Ms Larson, landslide" I love it I love it. I mean all of the students had some light to em really. Most told me that it was their first election where they could they vote because they had just turned 18. I made sure that they knew that it is always this exciting and that the right people always win and racism and losers always lose. Just think how awesome it is that they won't know the difference. They will never really know just how freaky things got with W. How for the past eight years it was actually acceptable, actually patriotic, to be dumb, and elitist to have more than one thought. So the bottom line is that today in class I announced that in celebration of their commitment to higher education and to mark the death of anti-intellectualism in America everyone gets an A on the essay due! Because in Obamaerica, grades don't mean a thing. A = America.

One guy complained about fairness and I heard a rumor that one student wasn't coming to class to protest the election results. Too bad, too bad! The party has started! Free A's for everybody. I don't care who you voted for. Goodness is falling from the sky.

Speaking of, I've already encountered some religious conservatives that are "worried" about  how Obama is going to make us all have godless gay abortions. I recommend to anyone who encounters these people to just softy say, "Well the lord works in mysterious ways. We don't know his plan. We just have to wait."  I think that is a real nice thing to say. And maybe they will go somewhere quiet and wait.