Hamburger Headquarters, Head Colds, and The Top of Chicago

Do you know what happens if you don't have money for the toll roads in Illinois? They call the cops. That is entirely unfair. I can think of several reasons for accidentally getting on a toll road without enough cash on hand but the dude at the $1.25 booth could think of none. He had the uncompassionate face of Gary Sheffield and when I told him I only had twenty-three cents he scowled at me, "now I have to call the state police" and slammed his sliding window so hard it bounced off the frame. I don't know if he thought I would produce the money then but I wasn't messing around, no quarters were coming out of my nose and unless he wanted to siphon some gas, I wasn't turning liquid. I was looking forward to talking with the police. Gary S stared at me through the bouncing window for about three minutes while the line behind me piled up with raging motorists. He finally opened the window and screamed "You know what?! I can't even deal with you! I'm just going to pay it. I can't get the police here." I offered him my twenty three cents in dimes and pennies and he threw it back at my car. I was on the road for about ten more miles before I came to another fifty cent toll booth. They should mark these things before "toll booth ahead" signs. This time the attendant gal was more than happy to wait on the phone with the police and nearly had them there when some blonde wearing Ugh boots came up and gave me fifty cents. The attendant gal told me "you have NO IDEA how lucky you are" and I sped away. Luck? I don't think so. Its a METHOD. It might be a stressful method but you really can ride the toll roads for free!

No amount of hassle is too big to take a trip to Chicago when you have this much fun waiting for you. 

I'm planning a  2009 conference at the Genesis Center. I can add you to my mailing list.

I enjoy eating bison with Bob and Emma.

Derek's Hamburger Building is featured here.

This is a washed up stuffed pumpkin.