How Many…

…over-heard conversations have you ever wished you were a part of?

I can’t think of many. Right now I can’t think of one conversation I’ve heard other people having that made me think, “If only I were friends with them!”

Most of the convos that have been shoved in my ears by cell-phone-liberated-strangers-in-close-proximity covered small topics like food or somebody coming over or somebody that has just been over. Business guys always talk about a previous meeting or their next meeting and it’s sooooooo boring. I heard one suit say to another whip-smart business guy “Ya ever hear of the telephone game? We played it as a kid. A story gets told a few times and come out all jarbled at the end.” Pause. “Well anyway that is what I feel like is going on between those two. Bad communication…. what’s that? Sorry – the signal here is bad…”

The time when you are most likely to hear the absolute, undisputable most boring kind of conversation to exit human lips is right after a plane has landed and passengers can use their cell phones while the craft is taxing in. For example: “Hi.” Pause “We’re in.” Pause. “Oh it was fine, we had to wait three minutes to board but what do ya expect from Delta, they should be called Dumtla.” Or (and these kind are always in an unnatural low/private voice), “Hi.” Pause. “Just wanted to let you know we made it.” Pause. “Oh really? How did it turn out?” Pause “No, it was the lobster bisque he was worried about.” Pause. “yeah.” Pause. “No.” Pause. “Just waiting to deplane.” Pause. “No. No one is moving yet.” Pause. “I think someone is moving.” Pause. “Yep someone is moving. I am going to grab my bag.” Pause. “Hold on. I am going to grab my bag.” Pause. “Yep. I got my bag.” Pause. “What did you and dad do for lunch?”

In 2011 there should be a new feature that automatically turns a cell phone off unless there are worthwhile gossip, lifesaving information, sports betting, puns or adventure plans being exchanged.