Spiritual Warfare

Sometimes if you mistype the web address to this blog you get this site.

The past couple days have been rough for me, so I am extremely vulnerable to cult recruitment and religious conversions and binge drinking and posting irrational and insulting anonymous reader comments on human interest stories and Urban Outfitter clothing reviews. It is fitting that I should fall upon that bible studies site today because it has a link near the top that says “Life is a test to see if you believe & obey the gospel.” So simple! I am totally going to cram for that one later.

What helped me is when you click on that link it brings you to another page that says “Spiritual Warfare” which is totally up my alley. “Warfare” sounds urgent and active. Belief is only going to get you out of bed, but warfare will fill your days.

Since you stumbled on my spiritual warfare site, I will do you the favor of giving you the secrets to the meaning of life (based on my experiences):

• Life is a test to see if you can not kill someone.
• Life is a test to see if you can keep everything you ever bought.
• Life is a test to see if you can drive in the snow.
• Life is a test to see if you believe in leprechauns.
• Life is a test to see if the Lions will ever win the Superbowl.
• Life is a test to see how many doctors you will visit to cure your migraines.
• Life is a test to see how many people believe what you say.
• Life is a test to see how many times a day you can say “like”.
• Life is a test to see what you will become addicted to.
• Life is a test to see how many social constructions you will not be constructed by.
• Life is a test to see if you are actually allergic to cats.
• Life is a test to see if you can take a picture of everything you see.
• Life is a test to see if you fell for it.

The best way to absorb this heavy information is to meditate on one a day. Maybe even one a week. Pick one truth from above and hold it in your head as the answer to all things, and I mean ALL things, for the next week and see what kind of opportunities open up for you, see what questions of yours are answered.

I hope this clears things up. I do not require obeisance as proof of belief - even in the case of a leprechaun sighting.