THERE IS A FINE LINE BEWTEEN SABBATICAL AND UNEMPLOYED

So what if I recently decided to quit another job. I am going on sabbatical. I’m surprised at how this freaks people out. “What are you going to doooo?” is an annoying question that I have been answering: I’m going to just wait for my trust fund to kick in.
But I can handle (or at least make fun of) annoying - what is really frightening me is this response; “oh I would go crazy if I didn’t work, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

I mean people, seriously – you wouldn’t know what to do if you were in control of your own time? It would make you crazy? This is a pandemic of lost souls. What the hell? Who cares about the terrorists, apparently the mind supply around these parts is tainted.

I can think of three million things I would and can and will do whilst not boarding my soul at some random place of employment. Here is a short list of what I have planned for my first week of sabbatical:

Finish one of seven-trillion already-started novels/essays/short stories/scripts, eat seven thousand king dongs, find a celebrity to have a baby with, stalk Russell Martin (goes with previous suggestion), make a movie about my feet, make a movie about social injustice, make a movie about a car, race a car, build a car, ride a bike, write about a bike racing a car, make interesting shapes out of fruit roll-ups, write a letter to the WNBA, write a letter to a friend, help a neighbor get their cat spayed or neutered, put together 24 hour long movie of Dodger highlights, buy some land in Salton City, paint my nails purple, set up a kissing booth in the back seat of my new car, gamble, finish reading one of five already-started novels, drive the 10 freeway all the way to Florida, see new Errol Morris film, learn to swim (butterfly, backstroke), hang out with David Lynch, clean bathroom tile, walk to Long Beach, untangle hair, pray an entire rosary at a Korean catholic church, learn to play backgammon, attend professional tennis match, invite Bernard Cooper out to coffee, interview Tayshan Prince, make out with one of the two dudes who were up at the Tee Gee writing on legal pads (prefer taller one) earlier this evening, review back taxes for favorable discrepancies, write tell-all book about working at Glamour Shots, work on Obama campaign, watch horse racing at Hollywood Park, sit on sand at El Matador, walk through cacti in Joshua Tree, complain about consumerism at the Americana, visit with Kelly K who is in town from NYC, and of course, blog.