You are only a fool as much as you believe the affirmations you tell yourself. The reason you still don’t feel so great is that you haven’t found enough examples of people having it worse off than you. Or maybe you have been going overboard with that – you aren’t going to feel better if you think about bombing victims and orphanages, get with it – are you trying to get a bleeding ulcer or something?
You need to call your friend in Michigan and make fun of the people they overheard at the mall:
“I seen some dinner plates here last week, they were pink with the blue flowers – the peeenies, do you still have them?”
“I don’t recall… do you know if they were in our Indian Summer Sass collection?”
“Well, I seen them right there on the shelf back there. That’s where I seen them last week.”
Hahaha. How hilarious. Seen. Don’t you feel better? You would never say anything like that. You may be losing your mind. But not your grammatical sensibility.
I call this: schlechtegrammatikfreude
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