Thus

Memphis so far:

• Pork eaten:  (est.) 4oz.
• Giant slabs of wood from ill-constructed new table dropped on feet:  (est.) 1 – not my feet though
• Boxes emptied: 2
• Space Bags that re-inflated within 24 hours: 3 (of 5)
• Italian festivals: 1
• Text messages asking “How’s Memphis?!”: 20
• Cheery responses given: 10

These are a few things that would make my life easier in the coming weeks:

1. More hangers
2. A little less humidity on the uptake – outside
3. Have the Lakers win the NBA Championship (not because I am really rooting for them but because the aliens will then leave my new home and life can get back to business)
4. A debutant ball so I could be introduced to southern society and maybe be lucky enough to get featured here
5. A job producing the “Quit Your Job Advice Show”