Back from the windy and gray Midwest. I’m glad to be home in the south, the kind of place where cashiers at grocery stores are properly alarmed if your check-out total is $6.66 – where they ask you “don’t you want to add a piece of candy" (a praline perhaps)?” That is a true second hand story via Schnucks and Facebook.
Observations on the homefront: We have a controversial microwave, it creates intense arguments about microwave popcorn cooking techniques. I would like to keep the microwave since I accidently caught an episode of Wife Swap today featuring an Iowa family that eats only raw food. I’m not talking about the Demi Moore anti-youth organic veggie diet, I’m talking about raw meats. Raw meats slaughtered at home in the privacy of your own Iowa farm. I am forever scarred by seeing a bald man eat a “salad’ of raw chicken pieces and spinach leaves while talking about how much hair he has grown back since he started the diet a few years ago. His wife mentions that the family drinks no water because their bodies are trained to store fat for survival should the reckoning come. I prefer to train my body eating half-burnt popcorn should our microwave be the last electronic device available after the reckoning.
Reality shows are too easy to rant about, they really are. What is not easy is to come up with a truly unique idea for a reality show that matters. My idea? Outlet Shoppers: A thoughtful combo of Hoarders and Girls Gone Wild.
The idea is inspired by our recent stay in Livingston County. Our hotel (one of the three in the whole area) was right next to the outlet mall that just happened to be hosting a Thanksgiving Midnight Madness sale – on Thanksgiving night at midnight the stores (yes, including the GAP and Hanes/Leggs outlets) open and stay open until nine pm the next day. Traffic was backed up for three miles on I-96 just so people could bail on dishwashing duties and line up outside of the Coach store!
I think my reality show would also include Sweepers and other deal-obsessed Coupon Clippers…
And after a couple seasons I will start another reality show called “Time Savers” about people that are obsessed with wasting time.
That show would not feature any bloggers of course.
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