Met my sister for the sibling car swap in Mid-Mich today. I have been driving around her little scooter for a couple weeks so that people will think I am a commoner. And apparently she has been parking my ride under a tree that drips tar and alien waste. Thanks, sis. I don’t even feel bad that you haven’t been able to donate plasma because you have iron poor blood.
Maybe I have iron poor blood – my eyes hurt from reading. I still read regular old books but I find some of my most favorite things to read are on the web. Not only in the brilliant word sprayings of Bethany or Kim, or in PDFs of Spin articles from BM (wait, I’m going to need a middle name that starts with an A or a U– those can’t be your initials) but also in the form of comment/feedback posts from anonymous people on giant websites. I especially identify with the minds that troll IMDB.com and Amazon.com.
I was researching a film and came across a post some tween girl had thrown up about how she wanted to meet and marry some actor, let’s say Clive Owen because that is the only sensible choice as far as actors to meet and marry because Mark Ruffalo is way to indieobvious. Well the rest of the IMDB let her have it with comments like “Just because your birthdays are in the same month, your parental situation is similar, and you both used to be fatties doesn't mean you're remotely meant for each other. At all.” Some guy called LiberalsSuck84 posted that. It was far more cruel in context and I couldn’t stop reading all the RE: Re:s! I felt so bad for her I wanted to go get Clive and get hitched just to show her dreams do come true.
Amazon reviews are the best. I know all about the cattiness and controversy about writers posting their own amazon reviews and then their jealous ‘friends’ from writing group snarking back – it makes for ok reading but who wants to hear smart people argue? Does anyone check the product reviews for things like door alarms and pizza stones? Well, because I am considering moving the south (lifelong dream: Yazoo City, porch swings, and sweet tea) I was researching hot rollers and I came across this: http://www.amazon.com/review/R1XJ6V2P76KQ6W/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm
I’m not even sure which part of the video is a legitimate review or if it is just a cry for help from a drugged and abused women living in the back of some guy’s 18 wheeler. I do love fake eyelashes.
Does any of this reek of procrastination? Yeah well, I’ve got way too much to do. My entire life is hanging on by a thin thread - can I finish this project? I need to go find some apples and ephedrine and then research Mark Ruffalo. Maybe he isn't so bad.
Ladies, I miss Oinkster - first OOB when I get to LA. (OOB = Order Of Business)
1 comment:
first of all, i am so glad you like my verbage sprayings. it is an honor you little wordsmith. second order of business, you are considering moving to the south? i am from alabama and went to school in savannah for four years and have been in every southern state about fifty times so you just let me know if you need pointers. i've always fantasized about retiring in new orleans on a porch with a swing, a strong cocktail, a record playing, and a delicate storm a brewin. wait i want to do that right now!!!! oh and the mississippi delta is great too.
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