When the economy is bad and unemployment is high people cry “we need more jobs!” and as someone who recently scored a job I can testify that we most certainly do not need more jobs and those of you looking should just stop and try to make and sell hemp necklaces or soap or maybe read the collected works of Andre Dubus or watch Errol Morris’ “First Person” series. What we need is more money distribution from the teensy part of the population that makes a kabillion dollars off cheap labor and we need more Robin Hood action. Screw jobs for jobs sake.
Today at work I was in the middle of a passive aggressive eight-person email storm that was so ridiculous and succulent that I almost am willing to break any sort of communication and confidentiality agreement in my contract to post it all right here. Almost willing and completely willing are two different things though so you will just have to wait until I send it all to McSweeneys or turn it into a one woman show when I am fired for trying to radicalize the staff or I eventually quit.
Stiff bizznazz speak mixed with grammar mistakes and the occasional ALL CAPS is like, my new favorite genre of poetry. It is hard to mimic unless you have never seen Office Space, The Office, or any of the Christopher Guest mockumentaries or just generally lack a sense of irony. Humorless people are to blame for the economy.
I’m starting a Robin Hood club.
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